Holidays blues, say peace out! (blog#1)!
Hi neighbors,
In speaking with a client they had asked me if I was going to be seeing clients on Christmas day?? While I know everyone does not celebrate Christmas, I do know I am unavailable that day. They were going to be alone and you could see the look of dread and anxiety on their face. We made arrangements close to that day so that they felt supported, but I was more concerned about how this time of the year takes its toll on them. Is there a way to change their future perception of the holiday season?
Lets talk shop . . .
Gratefulness, connection, and taking care of YOU will bring you more joy and energy during the holiday, than any gift, and the stress of meeting unrealistic expectations.
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Many of us will feel;
lonely
anxious
sad
anger
overwhelmed
The holidays can be a wonderful time to celebrate with family and friends. We reflect on the year, past memories/experiences, and also look to the future and hopes of things to come. Unfortunately, they can also bring immense stress, anxiety, and depression. We often pack the pressures of a whole year into a brief period of 30 days. That is a lot of heavy lifting. And that is not entirely your fault.
Many of us have work functions, family gatherings, the push to give back to those in need, working long hours, and a decrease in sunny days all add to the race to do more and give more mentality. But does that actually serve us, or make us feel good? Well, the jury is still out on that one. What we can do is note that most of us are more exhausted by the time the new year rings in, than we probably intended to be. Our buckets are overfull and that is not an ideal setup for our well-being.
So, what is happening? Well, I believe mental health during the holidays is an important issue that often goes ignored. But this season doesn't need to be a source of misery and discomfort. Here are three tips to keep your mental health in check and ideas to possibly manage this holiday season a bit differently.
First, don’t over-expect! What do I mean by that? It might not be the ring, the car, the computer, the newest iPhone, or the vacation you receive or give this holiday. And that should be okay. The joy of the holiday is robbed by the idea that you are supposed to be gifted something “life changing”, that will immediately bring happiness and pleasure. That is not realistic or a good measure of your worth, or the person who cares about you, if the gift is the only focus. We need to reframe that thinking, which will ultimately save us, maybe a relationship, or marriage from the false narrative.
Second, don't forget to take care of yourself! If your container (mind) is full, chances are it is going to spill out. So, make sure you're taking time for yourself, whether it's reading a book, taking a yoga or tai chi class, snowshoeing, hiking, or walking. You can bake, pick up an old instrument you have been wanting to focus on, or just relax with your favorite music. Also, make sure you're getting enough sleep - a good night’s sleep for me or you may look different. But you just want to increase your rest from your baseline. Starting and maintaining good habits like going to bed at the same time each night and avoiding screens before bedtime if possible will be a huge win for you. Who doesn’t like to win every now and then?!
Third, maybe you need to look more closely at the idea of gift-giving and the meaning associated with the tradition. Finances are already a point of stress for most people. So what are some other ways to show someone you love them? You can cook together, do an activity together, or create something more unique and personal that is based on a personal skill or strength you have. The creative options are endless. The added benefit is that you do not have to be consumed by playing the guessing game of what someone really wants gifted to them. Now wouldn’t that be nice, (sigh)!
So this holiday season I wish you the best and I challenge you to do fewer things that make you feel pressured, insecure, judged, and financially challenged (or broke). You can show love and feel joy without the burden!